Liberation Into Truth

Not a poem, an exception to the rule..

It never comes from crumbling of external structures, those have already collapsed.. and what does it have to do with our individual life stories.. absolutely nothing, just pointers on the way.. It comes from a total assault from within, total collapse. Not even collapse of beliefs, ideas, world view… a long road to the collapse of the Psyche.

Ever asked what the fear is all about?? Fear of own meaningless existence. THE FUTILITY of it all… An honest look at reality of being.. and all else you hear – are shameless fairytales. Believe nothing. If Divine Discontent is not part of your intrinsic makeup, life circumstance will take you to that point and demolish all illusions in the process…. as you know.

Your existential questions – will disappear. Your existing reasons for living – will vanish in an instant. Your desire to ‘become’ – will evaporate. ‘Soul’ or ‘God’ will not resonate. Relationships, families, children, aspirations.. ridiculous programming of Enlightenment, with chants of peace, or warm and fuzzy sensations of all encompassing love, or wanting to be ‘a better person’, or liberation from suffering.. Make-believe of a permanent halo.. Wake up, people, it has nothing to do with Awakening.

…not many understand what self love TRULY means.. what it IS… what is it like to be YOU? Close your eyes and feel it. Sense for you. Think for you. Feel for you. Perceive for you. Who. You. Are. Every answer you come up with – will require a definition, lie upon lie.. insignificant, Samaritan, stubborn, man, paryah, intelligent, initiated, woman, curious.. all lies, a currency of convenient identities in this world of perpetual survival struggle. Groups live, individuals – perish. So hurdle all together into a dream..

And it will just dawn on you, nothing like you imagined it would be, no Big Bang, no rainbow colours.. so quiet in the way it happens, like nothing happened, and everything did. The elementary Truth of your Being. There is – No Self, NEVER HAS BEEN. There is NOTHING to look for!!! All meanings are earthly fear expressions wanting to combat Futility.

Faith cannot come from blind deceitful illusion, perpetuated through countless institutions of human thought and power. Most ‘liberated minds’ and ‘spiritualised egos’ wouldn’t go there, they break the fall into the pit and get stuck on the first rung.. still ‘searching’ for Unicorns in every conceivable philosophy, blind fools.. or may be it’s best not to know, huh.. the mere simplicity of it makes it obscure and hidden – hidden in full view. I’ve known this truth my entire life, never consciously accepting it, running away in terror. There are levels of reality, and at this human mortal level – I probably will have to ask the dog for wisdom, it has more of it than an entire human population. Doesn’t take itself (Self!!!!, it’s hillarious!) seriously.

Take any word of importance to you… dictionary ‘definition’ is just the start. Levels of MEANING will be as deep as you want to go… drop into each one of them, with your entire feeling, breathing being. Do it with each one of those ‘words’, they are only representations of Mind. Then – CONNECT all those, the truth will JUMP at you, punch you in the face… and the whole picture will emerge. Building back up again from the point of unflinching, raw, bleeding truth is liberation. And another story.

Go on, the truth is there for the taking. Just that… be careful what you ask for. It may be much more comfortable in the pain of the world as we’ve known it.

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12 thoughts on “Liberation Into Truth

  1. Self love didn’t exist before my awakening. Then it did. It was like having a pet that I loved unconditionally, the pet was me!, the person arising.

  2. ‘Building back up again from the point of unflinching, raw, bleeding truth is liberation. And another story.’

    I don’t much know about the “unflinching, raw, bleeding truth” part, nor the “liberation” part (all of which sounds quite attractive…and beyond my mortal grasp) but much about “building back up again” and “another story” part.

    I wonder if these adjectives and adverbs – and essentially all words, including the “truth” and “liberation” – are not the stories themselves, layers upon layers over, IS.

    Another thought was about the “collapse of Psyche,” and terms such as “Soul” and “God” not resonating.

    I don’t know about how you understand or define these terms, but to my “mind,” in a way, your post IS an expression of “Soul,” or “Psyche,” of ‘someone,’ or of Soul and Psyche. Full stop.

    What else?

    1. @Anatta “I wonder if these adjectives and adverbs – and essentially all words, including the “truth” and “liberation” – are not the stories themselves, layers upon layers over, IS.”
      That is basically what Tano wrote in the post: ‘Every answer you come up with – will require a definition, lie upon lie..’

      Those terms not resonating is probably because they are vague and used in a million different ways. Everybody has their own meaning attached to those words. Better to use more descriptive language in my opinion.

      @Tano This post is already 6 years old, I’m guessing this was written close after your mind opened up. I think your writing has improved a lot since then. I’m curious to know what you think of this post now after 6 years.

      1. I think the post expresses what I saw then and what remains true to this day:

        …that the fear is the fear of Death
        …that self is very visceral in nature
        ….that common definitions are misleading
        ….that people misuse the language and lead one another astray with that
        ….that cultural norms have enormous influence upon human minds
        ….that there are no unicorns in Reality
        …. that many people start asking questions and then drop the search because it hurts too much
        ….that Truth is hidden in plain view, but is always self evident, so impossible to pass on to anyone

        My depth of understanding has improved a thousand-fold since, but the basic facts of life remain the same, regardless of how well I comprehend it now.

        Many have made the journey before: the clever ones, the sensitive ones, the restless ones, the rebellious ones, the curious ones, the skeptical ones.

        What they had in common was ability to think and connect the dots.

        1. Thank you Tano, appreciate your writing. Lots of stuff to think about.

    2. Ah yes.. unflinching bleeding raw truth. Like most those who got punched in the face by the sudden realisation of the facts of life – I was overwhelmed, which expressed itself in this dramatic phrase.

      Poetic crap.

      There is truth in it however. When all is stripped bare, and one is suddenly left staring at own death, at upcoming Eternity, at lies and masks that humans wear, at their futile striving for prosperity at ANY cost, at the jungle and its laws… hey!! makes me want to pat her on the back and tell that past ‘me’ the same I told others: ‘You will survive the burn, the shock of this discovery, the devastating understanding of Life that smacked you in the teeth so suddenly.”

      Well, she did survive. The truth is I have very little in common with the person who wrote that, and it was the first article I wrote publicly, because three days later it did occur.

      The word ‘liberation’… I was free from searching thereafter. Just like that.

      God and soul.. another pair of misused and overused words. They are representations of the human Mind, metaphors never to be taken literally. Our population is so uneducated, so uncultured, they take everything literally.

      1. Tano,

        Are there even people who experience The Burn while they are busy working or studying and living a common life?

        I want to study and I live with someone. But I worry a lot about my state of mind. I feel like I’m dangling somewhere in between facade and reality. I recognize the facade and most of the times I have this … feeling, not good. Sometimes death hits me, mostly at night when I want to go to sleep. Sometimes I feel so much fear that it gets hard to breathe.

        But I need, no I want to study and take care of myself. And I want to make a good time of it, not like the other times where I isolated myself so much, from the others. My early experiences in school were bad, so I always when in school, it haunts me. The groups and pressure and social.

        The dangling in between, it’s like my life has split in two. The defined life, the image, the character ME, my place in the group, what I do, what I’m worth, how I appear – all BS. I HAVE to participate (?) but I know it, that it is BS. And every fucking time it hits me so much, that it’s all BS and wtf am I doing? And if something sucks it is incongruence in mind and behavior. But I neither see any alternative!

        You say you work, so you must know what I mean because you must be putting some kind of act at work, am I wrong? I don’t know the details though.

        1. How can I act normal while feeling like I’m drifting away from all of those things, people, acts? How can I study and continu my life? But there is this underlying feeling that just doesn’t let me! If I choose to participate in the BS – it’s like this fucking buzzer just keeps ringing in my head! And drifting away from them, and they still believe this life is going somewhere! While eternal death is knocking at our door?

          And every moment just seems to slip away so fast. Like my life will pass just like the movie did, THE END, one day it comes, too soon! Just like every event in life, you think ah – that’s only in four months, and BAM it passed and BAM new years again and BAM again and is this how it will end? Suddenly BAM it’s here, say goodbye while ya can, oh wait too late – pity.


          And will I spend my whole life in fear of the fucking inevitable? That seems so horrible!!! Then you had one life and you spend it like that fuck!!!

          And it gets to the extent where I no longer know what to do, start treating my every moment as the last ?!

          1. Yes, every moment slips away fast and cannot be repeated, ever. You can lament those moments and feel despair or you can extract something enjoyable out of the life you have.

            Your choice.

            As for Death… you will die. Stop dying over it again and again and go live some, before it’s too late.

        2. “You say you work, so you must know what I mean because you must be putting some kind of act at work, am I wrong?”

          It is not an act mostly.

          1. I have fully accepted that human world is that of fake posture, pretense, character masks and untruths, all in the name of survival.

          2. I am very open in my everyday life that I don’t like humans exactly for these artificial survival tactics. I say it exactly like that ‘I don’t like humans’. Funnily, people tend to embrace this statement, because all of us have suffered at the hands of other humans (it takes many different forms) and so harbour a degree of resentment towards the human race at large. The statement echoes.

          3. I simplified my life requirements and with those – my approach to how I deal with things. if my life situation satisfies my current requirements – I remain in that situation. If my requirements change – I change my life situation.

          4. Not everything can be spelled out. If you have a nasty narcissistic boss – you stating that will likely result in them making your life hell. Again, apply No. 3: if the person in question does not make my life hell – let them be a narcissistic prick. If they do make my life hell – leave. If enough people leave – there will be no one to boss around.

          I have a lot of autonomy at work, and people (bosses included) tend to let me be and get on with it.

          Most people are afraid to make a change and so suffer in silence.

          Having said that – I an an expat and will remain as such for the rest of my life. Expats tend to be more open-minded, with realistic expectations of life, by virtue of having ventured outside the conventional setting and having seen a wide spread of humanity.

          You see…. it doesn’t matter where in the world one was born, brought up, what culture they soaked up with mother’s milk. Change in life circumstance and one’s constant adaptability of mind to that change – is what matters.

          As for your mind driving you round the bend… as I said somewhere there are only three choices:

          1. Recognize the untruths. Withdraw from the world completely, live as a hermit. Some did choose it.

          2. Recognize the untruths. Accept and remain in the world. Remain flexible in small things. Remain fixed in big issues.

          3. Recognize the untruths. Check out.

          Either way… nobody gives a shit about you. Which should be a great incentive for YOU – to give a shit about YOU, completely and in full devotion.

          If not you – who else?

          Make a choice out of those three, or else you will stay in limbo for the rest of your life. You are grappling with something that is NOT GOING TO RADICALLY CHANGE, no matter how well you understand life.

          Tiny small changes that leave a little mark in human psyche – do occur. If I compare the mentality of people in SE Asia and in the West – I would choose the West any time. ANY time. That tiny movement towards humanity and away from the purely animal survival instinct. The survival instinct places Self absolutely in the centre of one’s universe (damn, how it echoes Jed’s C-Rex), but it also robs one of humanity.

          And so…. who will then rescue your child from the burning house when you are not there and cannot do it yourself?

        3. “Are there even people who experience The Burn while they are busy working or studying and living a common life?”

          I am sure there are people who work through life’s questions as they live their ordinary lives.

          Some have the luxury of dropping everything, retreating and figuring it out in solitude. Jed seemed to have had this luxury, and so did I.

          Realistically however… it seems to me that after the big questions start dawning, there will be a NECESSITY at some point to withdraw and examine things carefully, without too much interference from survival tasks.

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