The word ‘surrender’ is misleading. Mis-leading. It’s ONE step on the way, which may NOT take you there at all, but without surrender it won’t happen. It’s the moment when you’ve given up the chase, basically. Of everything. In normal language – you want nothing, don’t give a shit about anything, yourself included. All you want is to die, physically.
The actual Realisation is a light bulb moment, but not about little pieces of this and that.. those have been coming in gradually over the course of weeks, months and years, depending on how long you’ve struggled. The actual light bulb moment encompasses EVERYTHING. In one broad sweep. It’s like something has suddenly rearranged in your head, and things fell into Clarity.
You are able to see from high above, the entire view of Life. Things will look different. Don’t take it literally here.. the leaves will still be green in colour, and the mall will look like a mall, and you won’t levitate. There will be no strange music in your ears, and no thunderbolts.. unless you are having a mystical experience at the same time.
You may not quite believe it at first. How can it be so… not like what they describe? That’s because no one can adequately describe colour ‘red’ to the blind. Try, right now. You’d have to use the language the blind understand: touch, smell, sound… A sound of red…. makes any sense to any normal seeing person? Hardly. It’s also because the light bulb moment is a highly individual experience, and would be different for everyone. What would be the same – your Mind will open up.
You’ll know everything changed, but what’s there to SHOW FOR IT? All the struggle, pain, losing your mind, practically giving up on life.. what is there to show anyone? Absolutely nothing. That’s the paradox. It’s YOU who stepped out of the Known. Your physical appearance hasn’t changed. Your home is still the same. You haven’t become ‘perfect’ in any way, and haven’t developed supernatural abilities. But it’s not ‘you’ how everyone and your former Self have known. The Being is of a different kind. And there’s not a penny of evidence on the surface. Ah the beautiful world we live in.. all on the surface.
You CAN’T GO BACK. If you try – IT WILL HAMMER YOU. It’s an irreversible thing. It will deepen in time, already you know that your interactions have changed, have been changing for some time. You’ve lost desire to convert anyone or talk about anything spiritual, hey.. can anyone ‘die’ during a course of a conversattion? You will acutely feel the lie when it’s being dished out to you. You won’t settle for frivolities of an interaction. It will make others uncomfortable. You will not want many exchanges with people.
You’ve gained the world, because there is nothing in the world to gain. Any identity is available, any course of action is open. Everything is just.. there. “Infinitely greater than me”… your Personality ‘me’. Personalities don’t grow. There is nothing ‘greater’ in them than what already is. The real ‘you’ has an infinite capacity to evolve.