A Loss Of True Self

‘To play the human survival Game always means the loss of true Self. Always, there are no exceptions’.

This statement above had the following reply:

‘Survival is a core driver of living organisms. So it simply cannot be a betrayal of anything real… only perhaps of some false, egoic self.’

The real doesn’t get betrayed. It gets abandoned in favour of the Mask.

Human survival means cooperation with others. Cooperation means negotiation and compromise. Compromise means a human ends up doing what was not quite their original intention, to meet the requirements and often demands of those around. The degree of compromise is directly proportional to lack of self awareness. The least self aware people tend to depend on others the most for their survival needs and so flock together in groups.

It is a societal game in which, should you choose to stand alone – you will be ostracized in various small and big ways. Being part of a group, ANY group, means adhering to group conformity, and there are millions of ways to do so.

If one wants to put this to the test… spend one day being your absolute self, without hiding your real thoughts and feelings, without pleasing anyone’s expectations of you (and that includes your boss!! and your family members!! and your friends!!), without wearing The Mask. Let them know what you really think. Hmmm… how did it go for you?

‘Stand alone’ is when your self is the least compromised. Of course, in practical terms it is near impossible. That is why, unless one completely removed self from any contact with other humans, Self is always lost. Everyone lies to a smaller or lesser degree and, as a result, find it so extremely difficult to get back to Self, to find Self, to afford it the place it deserves.

Note: Michael, thank you

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7 thoughts on “A Loss Of True Self

  1. I like the final paragraph. I have retreated more and more from normal everyday contact with others, without trying…though I do have two grown up children and two grandchildren so am willingly clothed in the outer shell some of the time….but the inclination at any other time is almost non-existent. When I do venture out, it’s still possible to have fun, to feel exhilarated by Life, enjoy activities and other people, though mostly it’s the Self they don’t acknowledge that I see and love. Love joy compassion – all well up in me constantly. I am very ordinary in terms of the life I live. I still get caught up and drawn in to caring about the state of the world, the political landscape, and I encourage those who would be teachers or activists for positive change, whilst simultaneously knowing everything’s happening as it needs to…there’s still something of an urge to ‘help people’….but I know it’s only about helping them make the jail a bit more organised and pretty..

    1. Thank you, Irene. Your last phrase is the closest to Reality.

      We are all individually drawn to or are repelled by certain things. I see that I cannot ‘help’ anyone. This website is simply because I am repelled by lies, and there is no other reason than this drive to spell it out.

      I proved to be my own best teacher, lover, best friend, parent etc. etc.. Like you I still enjoy the company of humans, but have become very selective.

      1. I can certainly relate to what you say but dont you think in that being true, not lieing as you say, we have to come to cope with our aloneness. That is not at times an easy step.

      2. And your final sentence is resonant for me….I too have always found what i needed from ‘others’ only in myself….and am very selective about who I spend time with….and that means there are so few!

      3. I do feel alone, but never feel lonely. The word ‘çope’ sounds desperate, that’s not how it feels here.

        I would find it hard to cope with strong physical pain though.

  2. Gord – the aloneness is sometimes not easy, I agree. (My previous comment seems out of line….it was in response to EM’s last response to me!)

    1. Though I guess being alone just doesn’t feel the same thing as being lonely…sometimes I am simply aware that I would go and do more things I enjoy if I had company the ‘right’ company….

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