I had a long and thoughtful message from someone. It touched upon trauma (both the correspondent’s own and his perception of mine), the human experience, the teachers who talk about joy, connection to enlightenment, ‘Jed’. Below is my reply in all entirety, unedited. Make of it what you wish.
Thank you for your (long) message.
You are correct. Trauma is real and was experienced by every human. Without exception. You, me, the neighbour next door, our parents, the presidents and the kings. From the moment you are born – you are subjected to traumatic experiences.
Now.. ask yourself why this is the case. WHO perpetuates trauma?
You talk about this chap Gary and his expression of joy. How do you know about Gary’s everyday existence? How do you know that joy is all he experiences? Like other teachers – he is behind a computer screen, talking about what is essentially wishful thinking. The idea of permanent joy is very appealing to humans. Can you sell them the fact that life will always be about joy AND suffering? That one cannot exist without another?
You also talk about feeling immense love on your retreat. And? I felt many things: from stomach aches to what they collectively refer to as Unity Consciousness. And? Those are temporary mind/body states. They come and go, are part and parcel of human experience and have nothing to do with being ‘enlightened’. They will always be present, for not to experience anything means one is simply dead.
En-light-en. Light means seeing things clearly for what they are. Crystal clear awareness, without wishful thinking. Unfortunately, when all the masks are seen through and when all the lies have been uncovered, the remaining part is not about ‘joy’ or ‘saving people’ (what gave you this idea? I write solely for myself) or absence of self (another carrot of self-hypnosis)…. what is it about then?
Look at the world around you and tell me what you think of humans.
Regarding ”Jed’.. his first books were clear-cut, but he should have never written them. Once the words are on paper – there are people who will pay and will follow. It is just the nature of the Human Condition: the herd instinct.
Why did he write them? Look at the first proposal chapter. He is no fool. Everyone needs to eat. it is a business, a clever, brilliantly executed business.
Regarding Kenneth – I would like to find this other American chap, because I feel both are supporting the illusion and benefitting in the process, but while I laundered Kenneth’s dirty underwear in public.. the other chap got away with it. I would like to execute some restorative justice, to equalise things between the two. Whether this happens or not – not sure. I am short of finance (to go further means travelling and research outside of the internet) and time.
Regarding my own trauma.. I am no exception. Unlike those teachers who pretend their lives are perfect – I have no such aspirations. It is not perfect. It is just what is. Right now it is comfortable, and without any major impending disasters. Having said that – I own no possessions and befriend no humans.
Why? Look what humans do to one another. Even this blog was a perfect demonstration that anyone raising their head above the parapet – will get shot.
P.S. I know Alan Watts. He is one of the clearest humans. He had his own problems as you might be aware. No one is free. Get that.