You Didn’t Get Enlightened. You Got Infected.

This electron microscope photo of ebola virus is fantastic. I admire the technology which allows to see it with such clarity.

It occurred to me that desire to ‘become enlightened’ is akin to a viral disease: it is passed on from person to person, it has many different strains in existence, it often confuses folks as to its origins and it cannot be cured with antibiotics.

Duh! I mean.. there I once was, having no interest in spiritual matters, living life to the best of my modest abilities, neither happy nor unhappy, but aware of the life moments as tides. They come in, immerse one in the cold or hot sensation and then recede, never to be repeated again.

Coupled with understanding of own mortality – it was quite enough really. Enlightenment? The word never entered my consciousness, I swear to god.

Then life threw me a few survival challenges. Not for the first time, but somehow it lead to the question. I wanted to know why and went on a mission to find out. It was similar in intent to McKenna’s light bulb of ‘Truth exists!’, but without such god-mother-fucking certainty of his statement. It was simpler: “What the hell is this life about and why does it suck??”

I’m sure you can relate, cuz.

Tribe Within a few weeks I ran into someone who spoke the language which entirely confused me. An indigenous Amazon tribe that never had contact with the outside world (me) – encountered astrophysicists from the said outside world. The astrophysicists spoke a peculiar dialect. They mentioned God and lack of human progress. I couldn’t give a hoot about the former and protested the latter. They spoke about own exclusive knowing and total ego. I laughed at the notion of exclusivity and couldn’t understand the meaning of ‘total ego’. They described waking up. I asked questions they could not answer, which pissed them off.

The more they spoke – the more infected I became. Not only did I want an answer to the original question, but it began to bug me now why I couldn’t comprehend their language. It was like a bloody idiom: all the words were familiar, but for the life of me.. Awareness? Ego death? Self? I could not extract the true meaning. That pissed me off.

It gives you an idea of just how low down the awareness ladder I really was at the time.

It also bugged me that they could not give me the answers to direct questions. All was cloaked in more mists than the Siberian winter. It reminds me of how U.G. Krishnamurti got fed up with Ramana. When U.G. asked our ‘sage’ whether he can give it to him, Ramana answered “I can give it, but can you take it?” Whaaaa?? How much more ‘elevated’ can one man position himself over another? U.G. asked a direct question “Can Ramana give him enlightenment?” Sure it sounds naive. U.G. was a young chap who had just begun to suspect something wasn’t quite right about all the religious and enlightenment stories. And that’s the answer he gets from our advanced master??.. Posturing and self-importance much. Right..

Total war between the ‘Amazon tribe’ and the ‘astrophysicists’ broke out and lasted for a number of years, on and off. As it turns out (and ‘Jed’ also speaks about it) conflict is what provided the biggest impetus to move, what made it possible to grow and to understand.

Harmony through conflict.

I wasn’t interested in enlightenment per se. Everything discussed around this word sounded strange, with too many improbable suggestions, all those kundalinis and third eyes and meditating Indian folks with skinny knees and sticking out ribs… Who the hell wants to sit in such an uncomfortable pose for half their life? Is that the way to be in life? Really?  People in Asia are built genetically different to us Western folks. They have pliable bodies, do not put on weight as much and can bend their fingers and limbs at the most torturous looking angles. I tried and did not like it one bit. And why a sudden release of hormones is called this foreign word ‘kundalini’? Why mask the event with millennia old terminology? I kept poking holes in the stories.

I didn’t look for bettering my life, bliss or happiness. And it wasn’t a self improvement project.I am glad

I looked for the real, as it was clear to me at that point that lies were aplenty (including the Eastern hys….. mysteria). Somewhere hiding behind that shitload of universal deceit – was something true, and I had to get to it somehow.

Which of course also meant that the virus did get transmitted. It was a person to person transmission of the enlightenment NOTION, the idea of it. See how it works.. without that person’s cryptic and often deluded (as I see now) speeches I would have never followed that particular rabbit hole.

So what? It went the way it went. Two years is not that long to chase the rabbit, right? However, if these freshly cooked enlightenment dudes and dudettes took the time to reflect on own enlightenment claims, if they gave it a chance to mature, they would have noticed that the mind has the natural capacity to develop to a point where it becomes self-directed, self-sufficient, independent of others, able to detach from emotion. Clarity needs no enlightenment ideas.

The Mind begins to THINK, instead of merely think for survival.

That’s it! They would have known it is the natural process, and to quack about this either in books or personal ‘teachings’ means one thing only: adding to ever expanding bullshit.

So you are a ‘know-it-all’ old fart now. Pfft, big deal. Shut up and let the young live their lives: to fuck, to dream, make babies, chase careers, create homes. Let them imagine insults and loves and accomplishments and sorrows. Let them sing songs and chase existential questions. Let them bloody LIVE instead of dragging them into the void. Most will ‘get it’ a few years before their time in this world is up, just like our Cali philosopher did.

Some unlucky ones (Ramana) will get it early. Ramana never lived.  He opted out of  human experience and NEVER LIVED, only existed.

Because Clarity changes nothing. Clarity is not worth dying for. Clarity is like a movie spoiler: the movie has fantastic reviews, is gripping, exciting, fast and emotional, and here you are.. bored stiff because you know the ending.


12 thoughts on “You Didn’t Get Enlightened. You Got Infected.

  1. Its not my intention to flatter you although I deeply admire your way seeing things. My silly question is: will you ever offer everything you wrote here as a book or ebook? I am aware that many would say such a project would bring you in the near of Jed. Sorry if my question should offend you. That was never my purpose…

    1. You had no intent to offend so there was no offense, DBL

      I thought of it.

      Writing a book takes time and lack of other concerns. Who’s gonna feed me while I’m writing? Unlike Jed I didn’t play the marketing game by way of peddling the software, in order to create a nest egg.

      And then, when it’s written, shall I charge for it? But then how would that make me different from Jed and others who slapped the word ‘enlightenment’ onto their front covers, let it fester in people’s minds and so contributed to the Enlightenment gig?

      I have much to say, yes. There is the Jed story, the Ken story, the Tano story, the BS of enlightenment story. But neither will help you in any way. They are like Hollywood productions: good to watch once, while keeping in mind these stories really have nothing to do with your life.

      If I do write it would be for two reasons:

      1. Leave behind a voice, something to say that I did live and learn. One day my son may read and learn. I wouldn’t lie to him.

      2. Make money so that I don’t have to work when I’m seventy. Right now it looks like I would have to (work until I die), haha.

      It would not be to teach anyone or to destroy the enlightenment tales. This cannot be done, impossible. People will always reach out for the unreal, because the unreal may just be that ultimate thing that drives this world. Our fantasies, dreams, delusions, mirages, wants, desires, imagination – drive Life. Jed calls it ‘Maya’. It does not exist, this illusion, and yet.. it makes the world go round.

      That’s all, folks.

      1. Hey Tano,

        Just food for thought: I think your writing style suits two kinds of books, while at the same time not repeating the enlightenment trope of all the teachers today.

        One is a rational deconstruction of the often erroneous theories of teachers, going from the ‘classics’ like the Autobiography of a Yogi, to that dude’s teacher’s book (which I once downloaded and tried to read — it was so dense and subjective god only knows how some people can take it to be a literal map of the universe).

        The second, is a somewhat fiery, motivating (perhaps you don’t like that word or perhaps it isn’t your intention to motivate, but I think you get the idea) book on shaking people out of the dreamstate of enlightenment; shaking them hard enough that what binds them to it comes loose, and eventually falls away.

        As long as you’re genuine and put effort in it, I see no problem in charging money/marketing. It’s honest effort.

        Just my 2 cents

        1. Thank you.

          You placed it nicely, and it would be great to do that:

          “shaking people out of the dreamstate of enlightenment; shaking them hard enough that what binds them to it comes loose, and eventually falls away.”

          I know that for quite a few people that did happen after going over the articles here. If I were to express this I would say my writing here returned some people to the Source, aka themselves/self. They dropped the silly inclination to chase others for deep opinions and clever thoughts and went to find their own instead.

          That’s a great outcome. Not total freedom, but close, because the mind (what we have inside our skulls) is the one thing that cannot be controlled by another.

          1. I can attest to that as well — you certainly played a role in my return to sanity. What traps most of us is the certainty all the gurus have. That fuckin doggedness that makes you go, “hmm, perhaps he DOES know something after all…” Instead of taking his experience to be 1 out of 7,000,000,000 experiences of life. The beginning of the end, so to speak 🙂

          2. “What traps most of us is the certainty all the gurus have. That fuckin doggedness that makes you go, “hmm, perhaps he DOES know something after all…”

            Yes. The certainty comes from the fact that each one of those dudes came into some understanding via own thinking. This leaves no doubt, in the same way I have no doubt that I gave birth to my son.

            However, what exactly have they understood? It will differ wildly, because people do have the propensity for self-delusion, and also because our personal life experiences are very influential to the way we see things (that’s where self delusion often originates).

            Therefore, anything that you read here on this website – has to be questioned and examined by you personally, to a point when you yourself verified it via own thinking and observation and insight and even own Big Bang? Gotcha! experience.

            I hope you do go over the material here with your mind open and very questioning. Do not take it as Gospel. The Gospel is what comes from you directly, and if our gospels seem similar.. well, true Reality looks the same for everyone who can see it.

          3. Yes, always try to run things through my filter. The biggest realization for me was that each person is bound by his or her own subjectivity. That includes others, but that also includes me. So it’s a fine line to walk 🙂

          4. Subjectivity rules the world. This is the essence behind Jed’s C-Rex postulate, although I dislike the far fetched conclusions he draws from it, based on… own Jed subjectivity.

            When one knows that about themselves – they are the closest to being objective.

  2. Good piece of writing, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen that skill .. from you..

    I’m lying in a hospital bed with three way catheter in my Dick !
    Fucking sobering moment Reality 110 % ..

    Handing over your body to the Medical profession loosing what little agency and power one has .. is well fucked up but an evil necessity and a lesson in letting go finding some trust in your fellow ape and if lucky some life flow ..

    The upside was of course a good dose of Morphine but damn if it didn’t agree with me I discovered I’m allergic to it !

    Ha ha cosmic joke me but hey pain is reality and reality trumps all else..

    Want to experience the NOW just have a catheter removed and piss blood and razor blades for a few days .. has a sobering awakening moment all of its own …

    Yesterday another bash to the senses and tug on the heart strings .. I euthanised my little dog after 17 years of his undivided constant fixation on his master (me)

    The longest companion in my life a shadow to my every move
    He worked with me with the disabled cheering them up.
    Always ready for fun and games and totally accepting what life put his way .. multiple dog attacks all forgiven no grudges held .. forgiving my less then impatient moments and hard yanks on the lead ..

    As close as you get to real Guru in this life time is a dogs example of enthusiasm to live life in the moment .. love everyone and why walk when you can jump run or trot around..

    For the last year he was gone disappeared into the full mode of Dementia.

    His personality, sense of self and memories his temperament all gone
    He no longer recognised me
    All made worse with deafness and being blind .. the world he new was totally lost to him and him to me … heartbreaking and you never know just when is the right time to end his life..

    Watching him gasp for air was hard .. holding his limp warm body and putting him in the ground was a finality I would wish on anybody…

    I can only imagine how painful it must be for a Mother to bury their children ..

    This world is real it’s no illusion or clever little game of illusion for the fun of Brahma consciousness ..

    I’ve never been more clear and certain that Consciousness is originating in the brain just as the Buddha said..

    The dementia some how’s ends that capacity to be conscious of self and or existence

    As Maalidog waned in healthy loosing his weight to a few kilos he ate like starving wolf just a beast eating by instinct

    Enlightenment bologna
    crapola ..

    Fucking live fully a live with joy and gratitude kindness to others and you are all the success possible.. for this human monkey in pants or a skirt …

    I don’t have that long left myself with Cystic Fibrosis and now Prostate Cancer.

    I’m so grateful to be awake to what is and this constant moment to moment with no question or fucks to give ..

    More of this writing standard, and kill the Jeds you are so much more then those two cunts …

    I agree you learn to think and I would say not disconnect from Emotions just have the agency to accept them and not react with the previous hysteria drama and exaggerations..

    I don’t harbor and ill feeling towards you, I’m sorry we could bridge the disagreement

    Don’t be surprised if I show up in Cam saying let get a beer.

  3. Ops i missed the auto correct
    I meant wouldn’t wish on any one and couldn’t bridge the disagreement..

    Love ya

    1. “pain is reality and reality trumps all else..”


      Write to me privately, F. You know as well as I do that these, the investigation, the reason why Jed writes his books and why I investigate – are the means of distracting self from what awaits.

      Because we know what awaits. No one is immune.

      Trust your fellow ape here. Write. The door is open.

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